


shades of rowan

by laurencathryn



Category: Original Work
Genre: Actually really sad, F/F, F/M, Soulmates, introduction to my (hopefully) book, its actually pretty good, kinda sad, please give it a read, soulmates losing colors, you might like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 20:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16626242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurencathryn/pseuds/laurencathryn
Summary: the introduction to my (hopefully) work in progress book!the narrator talks to the audience about losing her soulmate, rowan, and everything that has come from it, good and bad. its just the introduction for now, but please give a read and let me know how you liked it.feedback is appreciated!:)





	shades of rowan

In our world, soulmates are a very beautiful thing.

To see two people joined together at birth, destined to be together for eternity, tis a very humbling thought. To know from the very beginning that there was someone out there who loves you more than life itself, even though they haven’t even met you yet. 

To love someone equally as much, not knowing them. 

Loving a stranger. A beautifully strange thought. 

Death is uncommon amongst our kind, at least after you’ve met your soulmate. Time slows the second your eyes meet, and you age together for eternity. Meeting them is supposed to be like an opening into a new world.

Colors are brighter, laughs are happier, smiles are brighter. 

It’s the best day of your life. 

The worst day of your life however, is the day where you experience the death of your soulmate. 

The bright, beautiful colors you were so used to seeing fade into nothing, until you can only see in shades of blacks and greys. 

The second their hearts cease to beat, you are hit with deep, aching pain. Pain unlike you have ever experienced before, so deep, so piercing, so numb, that most people break from the sheer force of it. 

Losing a soulmate is so rare, so unheard of, that here it makes national news. Soulmates losing one another is seen as a punishment from the Devil himself, because it just isn’t fair. 

Not even in the least. No one deserves to feel pain like that, to be damned to themselves for eternity, it just doesn’t make sense. 

It interrupts the natural order of things. 

Personally, the worst for me are the young ones.

The ones who have not yet met their soulmates, and are too young to understand what it means when their vision goes black and grey, and their hearts suddenly rip in two. 

How hard it must be for their parents, knowing their child will be greeted with a lonely, dark life.

Knowing that someday, when they get old enough, they will have to explain to their child what a soulmate is, and why they don’t have one. 

Why they never will.

 

I once met a girl, beautiful, sweet, poised, and oh so in love with her soulmate. 

They had been happily aging together since 15, when they met each others eyes from across the mathematics class they shared back in freshman year. 

What a blessing to be able to meet your soulmate at so young. 

What an amazing, bittersweet blessing. 

I still remember the day when I was at her house, it was a rainy saturday night, and we were studying for the test that we had the next day.

We were in the middle of working on a fairly difficult math problem, when suddenly her eyes went blank and she dropped the glass she had been holding. 

I rushed over to ask her what was wrong, to try to help, but she was already on the ground, realization hitting her, hard.

I think the worst thing about being there, witnessing that first hand, was just seeing the absolute defeat in her eyes as she processed what had happened. 

The complete and utter defeat.

I think the thing that made it worse is that she didn’t really…do anything. She had just sat down, tears swimming in her eyes, refusing to cry, and had politely but quietly asked me to turn on the local news. 

When I had turned it on, the whole station was blown up with reports of a car accident, with one dead, two injured. I remember the complete pain in her eyes when she had seen a picture of her soulmate flash on the screen, listing her as dead. 

Her pain was so plentiful, but yet so silent. 

She managed to get through the worst day of her entire life without uttering a single cry, without shedding a single tear. 

To this day, I am still amazed by her strength. 

Her story is a rare one, not many people are able to handle that type of loss with such poise, such maturity.

It's why her story is one of the ones that I have remembered through all the years. 

Many are reduced to a crumbling mess on the floor, pitiful, broken, and unrepairable. 

But not her. 

Maybe I remember her story so vividly because it relates so closely to my own personal experience. 

I met my soulmate at 19, still fairly young, but old enough.

We met on complete accident, but knowing how you meet your soulmate is something that's basically written in the stars, I knew it was a mere planned coincidence.

We met at a small little coffee shop in the middle of nowhere, he had ordered the same thing as me, a basic vanilla latte, and when the barista had called out the order we had both gotten up to get it, bumping into each other on the way to get there. 

After realizing that we were soulmates, because when you meet them you just know, we sat down at a small table and talked for the rest of the day. 

It was amazing. 

I was finally happy.

But, like all good things, they must eventually come to an end. 

 

I knew him for a year. 

It was a beautiful, glorious year. 

But then, just like that, he was gone. 

It's one thing to lose a soulmate that you loved, but it is something much crueler to lose one you never got the chance to. 

I remember very vividly driving on a slow road in the middle of nowhere on a snowy, beautiful night. 

I was admiring the colors of the snow, the trees, and the brightly colored leaves fluttering down into the soft snow. 

I’m glad that I did. 

Because that night those beautiful colors where cruelly taken away from me. 

Forever. 

The sudden lack of color had hit me so hard, so fast, that I almost slipped into a patch of ice, and off the road, surely ending my life. 

Some days when I miss him, I wish I had. 

Because what’s a life without color? 

Without love? 

That night, I was about to find out. 

Because although my colors are dull, and my heart is weary, my life is still one worth fighting for. 

All lives are. 

No matter how blessed and beautiful, or how broken and forgotten, every life on this planet is one worth salvation. 

That was one of the many things he taught me. 

But we’ll get into that later. 

 

CHAPTER ONE--Rowan 

After that night, that beautiful, snowy night, I found my life being altered in ways that I didn’t know was possible.  
I found myself questioning everything. My faith, my beliefs, hell, even the whole universe. 

I found myself cursing it, screaming at it, even praying to it in my darkest nights. 

After all, losing a soulmate isn’t something that one can just determine as vaguely as fate. Someone, or something had to be behind it all, making the final decision to cut the string. 

Who? That I don’t know. 

Not that I would ever want to. 

To know who took him away from me isn’t knowledge I would ever want the pleasure of knowing. 

Anyways, enough about him. You will learn more about him throughout the story. 

Because the best things in life never come to you all at once. 

But, because I am in a giving mood, I will tell you one more thing. 

His name was Rowan. 

To this day it’s still the most gorgeous name I’ve ever heard. 

And it fit him just as beautifully. 

Because my god, was he beautiful. 

He truly, truly was. 

 

Whenever people ask me what my favorite color is, I never know what to answer. 

Why? 

Partly because there are so many beautiful colors, 10 million to be exact. There's just too many to choose from. 

Mostly because colors are something that have been long forgotten by me. 

Rowan passed 3 years ago, leaving me without color, lost in the worlds of blacks and greys. 

Before he died, I would tell you that my favorite color was purple, because it was the color of the flowers that grew behind my mother's house in the garden. 

But now, I can only tell you my favorite shade of grey. 

Even then, I’ve gotten so sick of grey that I don’t even think I have one. 

What I wouldn’t give to be able to see the purple flowers behind my mother's house one last time. 

But if you really want an answer as to my favorite color now, I would tell you orange. 

It was Rowan’s favorite. 

I met him in autumn, and we would spend hours watching the leaves drop onto the snow, basking in the warmth of each other as we sat on a freezing park bench. 

He once told me that it was his favorite because the way the orange leaves fell so gracefully reminded him of me. 

Why they reminded him of me I’ll never know. 

I’ll just add it to the list of things I never got to ask him. 

But then again, not everything in life comes to us in a way that we necessarily like. 

I guess that's why they say the best things in life are worth fighting for.


End file.
